Your Guide to a Marriage Filled With Passion and Connection

Your marriage is on one of two paths: The Path of Intimacy or The Path of Separation.  You are either growing toward each other or growing apart. Here is a practical guide to help you get on and stay on The Path of Intimacy. 

Romantic Christmas Countdown

Here is a fun way to say “I love you” ten times over this Christmas!

Romantic Countdown

Are you still stuck for an idea of what to give your spouse for Christmas? Or maybe you’ve already bought a gift (or gifts) but you are looking for an extra special way to bless him or her this year.

This romantic countdown is a great way to surprise your spouse every day for 10 days leading up to Christmas.

The Christmas Countdown

As with any romantic idea, you need to adapt it to your spouse’s particular favorite things. Times like this are why I say it is important to be a lifelong student of your spouse and what delights him or her most.

The idea of the Christmas countdown is simple. Pick a number of days until Christmas. If you get on the ball in the next day or tow you can do ten days, as in my example below.  Seven would work too. If you are a traditionalist, you might do the twelve days of Christmas, which technically come after Christmas and would be a great way to extend the holiday festivities.

Here is how it works.  For each day, give him or her a gift representing the number of days remaining until (or following after) Christmas. As an example, here’s the list I did for Jenni a few years ago:

    • 10 – ten pretty fingers (gift card for a manicure) or toes (pedicure)
    • 9 – nine tasty treats (Cella chocolate covered cherries-her favorite)
    • 8 – four pairs of Christmas-themed earrings (she loves these things)
    • 7 – Christmas-themed arrangement of seven red roses
    • 6 – Six string serenade (she picked songs I sang for her)
    • 5 – five-minute kiss
    • 4 – four pairs of pretty panties
    • 3 – a set of three Woodwick candles
    • 2 – a side-by-side framed picture (us on one side and our daughters on the other)
    • 1 – Christmas lingerie (OK this gift was more for me)

The gifts don’t have to be large or expensive. It really is the thought that counts in this particular romantic endeavor! Get creative!

A low budget version would be a set of lists of things you love about your spouse.  Day 10: Ten things I love about our marriage.  Day 9: Nine things I love about your body.  Day 8: Eight things I love about how you parent.  Etc. Etc.

An Added Twist

Part of the fun is deciding a fun way to surprise them with the gift each day. I had a small wooden box with a lock on it. Each day the key would appear in an unexpected way. Jenni would unlock the box to find a note that gave a clue as to where to find the day’s present.

I’m no poet, but I wrote a tacky little poem for each day.  It was fun! For example day eight, the four pairs of earrings, which were placed in some teacups she has on display:

Christmas earrings

What numbers eight, yet comes in twos?
Perhaps I’ll give a few more clues

It is something festive for the season
Given for the best of reasons

‘Tis love that causes me to give
Four gifts that hide where teacups live

If you have no gift for rhyme, do something else that works better for you. Send a text message or email with the clue for the day. Maybe get other family members involved. Leave a note taped to their bathroom mirror. Give the gift first thing each morning or last thing each night. Have fun with it!

If you decide to try the Countdown to Christmas, stop back by and let us know how it worked out and to share your ideas!


Do you have trouble coming up with romantic and special ways to bless your spouse but wish you could? Be on the lookout for a new subscription service I’ll be offering soon, called Romance 101. It’s a monthly email service with great step-by-step date night ideas and romantic surprises that are sure to bless your wife or husband and your marriage. Click below to get on the list to get the details when this new feature is available, plus receive a special introductory discount.

2 thoughts on “Romantic Christmas Countdown”

  1. This is a GREAT idea for men who love their wives and want to make them happy! My husband is always saying he wants to make me happy, but he’d never, never, never, never, never put this much thought into anything just for me. I’m sure he doesn’t think I’m worth the time or the effort.

    The knowledge that I’ll never experience being loved like this is tough, but I love the idea! This would prove his love for me (that he’s always saying but never showing) in a way that would melt me all to pieces!

    And no, I cannot show him this article because then it is not from his heart – he’d only be doing it out f some sense of “obligation” and therefore it would be meaningless.

    But for men who actually care enough to read this and look for ideas to please their wives, I say go for it!! Your wife will love knowing you thought about her and that you care.

    Maybe I’ll turn this vice versa and do it for my husband. At least one of us should enjoy feeling special. Thanks for the idea!

    1. SadWife – I’m sorry for your situation and how your husband’s poor track record on making you feel loved. I would encourage you, however, to actually give him specific ideas on what you want. If you believe him when he says he wants to make you happy (and almost ALL husbands want to make their wives happy), then he probably just doesn’t have a clue what that should look like. Most men don’t know because they are wired so differently than their wives. Not telling him what love looks like to you is ultimately self-defeating. Just because you need to guide him with some details doesn’t mean it’s not in his heart to do. He just doesn’t know how.

      Turn it around for a minute. Suppose there was something important to him that you had no clue how to provide in the way he wants it. Suppose further that he resented you for not providing it, but refused to tell you how. Wouldn’t you want him to spell it out for you? Would it prove a lack of desire for you to make him happy? No, of course not. He is simply helping you love him well.

      So let me suggest you do a countdown for him. Then, when it’s all over and when the mood is right, tell him something like, “The countdown I did for you was a fun way for me to express my love for you. I know you really want to love me well. One way you could do that is to do something like that countdown for me sometime.”

      You might even encourage him to put his name on the list for my Romance 101 subscription for romantic ideas.

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