Your Guide to a Marriage Filled With Passion and Connection

Your marriage is on one of two paths: The Path of Intimacy or The Path of Separation.  You are either growing toward each other or growing apart. Here is a practical guide to help you get on and stay on The Path of Intimacy. 

Naked Without Shame

Naked without shame

Intimacy, that sense of being deeply connected, reaches its pinnacle when we are fully known and completely loved. The Bible calls this being “naked without shame,” and it’s how God designed marriage to operate. If we go back to the first marriage, way back at the dawn of creation:

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:24

For intimacy to thrive in your relationship, both parts of that equation must be present.

Getting Naked

Nakedness, that is, being fully known, goes far beyond a reference to physical nakedness, although it does include that. Being “naked” is about bringing the fullness of yourself to your marriage, holding nothing back, hiding nothing, and being all in and fully present. Honestly, it requires a great deal of vulnerability to be fully transparent with your spouse because we all want to hide what we consider to be the less-desirable parts of ourselves.

Intimacy simply cannot happen without vulnerability. It’s a non-starter. It would be akin to “fake intimacy,” which doesn’t exist. Naked intimacy requires being upfront with who you are, the best and worst bits. It means sharing your victories and failures, your dreams and your disappointments, your strengths and weaknesses. All of you. In every dimension of your being: the physical, the emotional, the intellectual, the spiritual. Everything.

Without Shame

The second part of the equation, being fully loved, or as Genesis puts it, “without shame,” means responding to your partner’s transparency and vulnerability with unconditional love instead of judgment and criticism. Intimacy requires us to show grace to one another when we fall short, looking beyond each other’s failures and weaknesses and into who you know them to be. Moreover, it means believing they are who God says they are, even when their behavior doesn’t match up with that.

Banishing shame from your marriage means responding to each other the way God responds to us, with love and grace. He celebrates who we are because we are his creation, and he knows us intimately. God encourages us to walk in the fullness of who he made us to be. He covers our sin with grace through his Son, Jesus. And he believes in us even when we don’t believe in him.

Grace is an invitation to intimacy. Grace says, “I love you, no matter what.” Ultimately, grace makes good our vow to love each other “for better or for worse.”

Naked without shame is God’s prescription for an intimate marriage. It’s a high bar and an ongoing journey. But every step you take in that direction is a step toward each other and a step further down the Path of Intimacy.

Watch our Heaven Made Marriage Moments episode on being naked without shame.


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