Why Surrender Your Marriage To God?

Surrender in Marriage – Part 2

Surrender your marriage to God, and delight in his plan and design


Surrender in marriage happens in two dimensions: horizontal, between husband and wife, and vertical, between the couple and God. For more on the horizontal dimension of surrender, see Why Surrender in Marriage is Essential.

Vertical Surrender

Every Christian couple is called to live in wholehearted surrender to the lordship of Christ Jesus. That means both husband and wife fully commit themselves to His loving leadership, acknowledging Jesus as the center of their individual lives and their marriage.

It’s difficult to grasp horizontal surrender until you experience vertical surrender. Intimacy in marriage flows from intimacy with Jesus, and in both cases, surrender leads us down the path of intimacy.

Trusting God With Your Marriage

Another dimension of vertical surrender is in placing your marriage squarely in God’s hands, trusting that he is for your marriage, that his design is best, and that he is the source of everything you need to love your spouse as he calls you to.

Especially in seasons when you are longing for more in your marriage, it can be hard to surrender it to the Lord and wait for him to move. Pray daily for your marriage and your spouse. Be hopeful and expectant that God can and will give you the marriage he longs for you to have. 

Surrender Your Marriage Paradigms

Surrendering your marriage also involves submitting your existing marriage paradigms and previous expectations about your relationship with your spouse to the biblical lens of God’s design for marriage. It means allowing the Holy Spirit to provide the wisdom and revelation that renews your heart and mind. It means pursuing God’s truth about marriage–about your marriage.

What are some of the truths you want to embrace?

  • The truth that love, real love, is found in the face of Jesus
  • The truth that as a believer, you have that very love inside of you
  • The truth that you do not have to be ruled by your emotions, but can be ruled by the Holy Spirit
  • The truth that you can take every thought captive and can take it to trial by the discernment of the Holy Spirit
  • The truth that the covenant you share with your spouse is supernatural and God-ordained
  • The truth that God is for your marriage and he is by nature a restorer, a redeemer, and a reconciler
  • The truth that you and your spouse are one and that makes your marriage different from every other relationship in your life


Surrendering your marriage to God is not that different than surrendering any other area of your life, but somehow it seems more difficult, perhaps because it is more crucial and central to our lives. He wants to be Lord of everything and for you to hold nothing back from him, including your marriage.

Below is a good prayer to pray when you aren’t sure what to pray. 

Prayer of Abandonment

Father, I abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you.
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let your will be done in me
and in all your creatures –
I wish no more than this, O Lord
Into your hands I commend my soul.
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself
to surrender myself into your hands without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for  you are my Father.
Charles de Foucauld


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Conversations to spark emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy in your marriage

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