An Invitation to a Sexual Awakening
I have been following Ruth Buezis at her Awaken Love blog since she started writing there. Now, in addition to her blog and providing classes on sexuality for women, she has put the personal story of her sexual awakening into her new book, Awaken Love, along with tons of practical insights. The subtitle of the book is spot on: “The Truth About Sex That Will Transform Your Marriage.”
A Perfect Mixture
One of the things that impressed me most about the book is Ruth’s balanced approach to the topic of sex in marriage. She lays an excellent spiritual foundation, offering biblical insights that make clear the intimate parallels between the spiritual and sexual dimension of our beings. She shares vulnerably about her journey of transformation from sexual “gate-keeper” to freely enjoying her sexuality and all it has meant to her marriage. Finally, she gets into the nitty-gritty, offering specific practical advice for women seeking answers.
The book is written to wives. But let me make it clear that the transformative truths she offers in the book will be helpful to all. I love the way she offers frequent prompts to talk together about the topics she addresses, and each chapter concludes with specific action steps.
The Marital and Spiritual
I have always gravitated to Ruth’s writing because she so clearly grasps the connection between our spiritual lives and our marriage. I share in her belief that God’s intention is for every marriage to reflect the love relationship between Christ and the church. More than a metaphor, this provides a treasure trove of rich revelation about every dimension of our marriages, including, and especially, sex.
Ruth doesn’t pull any punches here. She clearly states, “Becoming one is a picture of intimacy with Christ. Sex is a picture of intimacy with Christ.” In passage after passage, she explains how the truths in our walk with God provide insights for intimacy within marriage. Here’s but one example.
In our busy, goal-oriented world, “knowing” God does not come easily; it takes letting go of both control and expectations. We have to listen and ask questions. Rather than hanging onto our own agenda, we must allow God to interrupt us and sometimes just sit in His presence. We have to ask Him to show us who He is so that we can recognize His voice. As we encounter His glory, we should fill with awe as we simply praise Him.
In the same way, knowing each other in depth during sex is less about mechanics and more about connection. We learn to move together without thinking because we tune into each other’s bodies. We speak truth and reassurance because we know the hurts and insecurities that come from wounds of the past. Eye to eye, gentle smiles acknowledge a presence of entering together into the Holy of Holies. Performance, anxiety, and expectations are exchanged for discovery, being, and openness.
With sensitivity and a touch of self-deprecating humor, Ruth shares the story of her own sexual transformation, providing hope and encouragement for those who similarly struggle to walk in the fullness of God’s plan for sex in marriage.
In addition, the book provides tons of practical tips on how women (and their husbands) can better understand themselves both from a physiological and an emotional standpoint. She covers female anatomy, emotional struggles, sexual response and more, all toward the goal of enjoying the fullness of pleasure and depth of connection God longs for us to enjoy in marriage.
Buy it. Read it. Apply it. And set your marriage on fire!
Still not sure? You can read more about the book on the Awaken Love website.